God's Calling

June 3, 2009. Prophesied by PT again. “God’s calling” appear again in the prophecy. I though prophecy 1 ½ years ago about God’s calling in my life was just a coincident. I told God, You must be calling the wrong person. I don’t know anything about leading Your church. I have nothing special that I can offer to You. You must be kidding.

But tonight, God confirmed again. Not only confirmed but rebuked me as well. At first I though it was just a prayer to receive more power and anointing to do His work. But PT started to prophesy. He first prayed for a brother. Then he came to me and prophesied for me. I still can remember vividly what God said to me through him.

“Do not look at your inability, do not look at your inadequacy or talent. Do not look at your circumstances. Look at God. Look up to God. Tap on God's power. Be faithful to God’s calling. Be faithful to God’s calling”

God… You are so understand and so personal. Even to the little though I have… You know. I can’t run away from You. You can see through me.

I can’t sleep after back from the prophesy session. Overwhelmed by what God wants to do in my life. Where shall I start ? How shall I prepare myself ? It is a big task. I might not able to do it. I have fears. I have insecurity. I have no ideas at all….

God speaks to me :
Exodus 4:10-16 (New International Version)
10 Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."
11 The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."
13 But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."
14 Then the LORD's anger burned against Moses and he said, "What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and his heart will be glad when he sees you. 15 You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. 16 He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him.

I waked up from my stubbornness. Lord, let Your will be done. Let Your kingdom come. Use me if I am the choosen one. Not according to my way but Your way.